i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
