OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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