Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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