last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
