put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
