I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
