problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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