did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have post one night stand depression
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