Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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