Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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