Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
