i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
