I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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