her vagine was all disorganized.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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