my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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