I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
