The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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