I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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