We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
