none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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