Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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