please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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