So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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