it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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