We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
