its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am one with the molecules
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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