Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
