This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
