oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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