Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
