I just threw up on my dentist
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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