my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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