It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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