oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
