Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
