all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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