We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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