also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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