Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
