South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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