did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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