i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
