I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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