I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
