rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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