And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
