What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
