Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
