i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
