I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
